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May 1, 2012 / conservadox

Interesting new blog

I found a blog, Baby Carrot, that is apparently a “shidduch blog”, focusing on dating (mostly in yeshivish/right-wing Modern Orthodox circles).  

Though I’ve had a decent number of dates in NYC (about two a month), deciding who to pursue has been hard.  I’ve turned down second dates (or at least failed to ask for them) more than being rejected, and I think about the first situation more than the second.  Situations where the woman said no to me just aren’t that interesting: usually perfectly nice but as exciting as a mashed potato sandwich as far as I can tell. 

But deciding who to pursue (whether to ask out once or for a second date) is harder.  Tough issues:

*How old is too old?  I want someone who can bear children but realistically no one less than 10 years younger than me (I’m 48 so that means 38) really is interested in dating me so far.   I could hold out for younger (and keep furiously, futile-ly pursuing thirtysomethings), give up on children and date women my own age, or split the difference and date women who are reproductive longshots but not quite menopausal.  So far I’m been splitting the difference, mostly dating 40-44 yr olds. 

*How frum/secular is too much?  I think liberal-minded Modern Orthodox is ideal, but how far do I deviate left or right? I generally don’t pursue women who think of themselves as something other than, say, MO/Conservadox, but am open to being pursued just a little.

*How smart/educated is smart/educated enough?  Should I date women who don’t have B.A.’s (I didn’t even realize that there was such a thing as Jewish college dropouts till I moved here, leaving aside the occasional family black sheep).  My gut instinct is that a good fit will be a woman just educated enough to appreciate my talents but uneducated enough that they don’t look down on me (so if you teach at Columbia, I doubt you’ll be interested in me).

I don’t have an answer to these questions, these are just some things I agonize about.

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